Introducing Honestly Rach

Welcome to Honestly Rach!  Thank you so much for coming to this new community I've created where we can have open and honest conversations.  I really wanted the opportunity to build a safe place where we could connect. I've always said that I am that friend that will tell you what you need to hear and not necessarily what you want to hear.  But at the end of the day, I always have your back.  So, let me have your back each week as I will be answering your questions. Make sure you submit them at your leisure and I just might answer your question.  :)

What are some tips to happily quarantining with your significant other?

IF I MAY,

Let me start off recognizing that this is a really important question because we don’t know how long this quarantine will last and we don’t know if this is the new normal for us moving forward. So we have to learn to make the most of it and adjust! So, I will be honest…there are some positives and negatives to quarantining with someone. You may be quarantining with a friend, lover, partner, husband/wife, friend-with-benefits, roommate, or family member. Whomever it may be, here are some tips:

1.) Give them Space

Yes, this sounds harsh but it is imperative to survival. It is important to not be all on top of one another and give the person the separation to feel as if they are alone and to give them some privacy. This will go a long way towards happy quarantining.

2.) Treat the day as a normal work day and plan each day at night

By planning your day the night before, it creates a routine, a list of things to do, the ability to coordinate your day with the other person, and make time for work and play. It gives your day purpose and intention. You also take control of your day and do not allow your day to control you. You are not dependent on the other person to create your happiness. 3.) Share chores/responsibilities

This is to avoid arguments, bickering, nagging, and complaining. There are bigger things to worry about these days. Sometimes it is better to lose the fight so you can win the battle. 4.) Impromptu date night (if applicable)

Enough said.

5.) Try new things together to spend your time

Start new movies. Bryan and I choose a movie that the other one has not seen before. With these we are able to create a nostalgic feeling and share related memories. Start new shows. We just started Schitt’$ Creek! Play games. We love Uno. Do Puzzles. We haven’t gotten around to this one yet but open to suggestions. Cook together. This is a work in progress. Take walks. These are everything! We walk as a family. We grab some fresh air. We catch up on our day. Copper loves them the most. Work out together. This tackles self-care, self love, and for me, sanity. Meditate/Pray. We are working this into our every day routine, although we do it separately. Share meals together. We eat breakfast together and have most dinners together. Find common interests. Whatever that may be for you. For us, it is me working on my Spanish.

HAPPY QUARANTINING.

~ Honestly, Rach

What to do when a shitty ex invites you to their wedding?

IF I MAY, be a tad blunt.

This is an easy one because you already answered yourself in the question. The key word being “shitty”. If you describe your “ex” in this way, then why would you even waste your time, money, energy, and outfit on that “ex”? Just wish them well from a distance and realize that they are someone else’s problem now. Remember, they are an “ex” for a reason and that’s how you always need to see them…with a capital “X”.

~ Honestly, Rach

What are some tips on how to successfully navigate your relationship when your significant other is always traveling for work?

IF I MAY, just speak from a personal point of view on this one because it resonates so deeply with me.

Prior to being on the Bachelor, I was in a long distance relationship and we both traveled quite a bit for work. This relationship did not last for several reasons but the main reason is that neither one of us were willing to make sacrifices for the benefit of our relationship. When I walked away from that relationship, I told myself that I would never let work be the reason for another failed relationship. That has been the foundation of my current marriage and honestly it should be for every relationship.

I used to travel every week for work prior to the quarantine so I understand that it may be non-negotiable in a relationship, but that is where sacrifice steps in. This sacrifice has to be a two-way street and an understanding must be established from the beginning in how the relationship will successfully navigate a traveling partner. Communication is the key. There must be constant communication between each other as to how you will deal with the distance and the lack of time spent with one another. That is why maximizing your time with one another is another key to success. Whether you are apart or together you have to maximize what limited time you have. That could be FaceTime, date night, sending photos and sweet messages, or even little surprises. You don’t want to get in the habit of sharing your day with someone else. You have to make your partner feel as if they are a part of your day even if you are traveling.

Another tip is to know your partner’s love language. I know, I know. You have heard this over and over again but it is important to know how your significant other feels loved. This is key because most of the time you give love based on how you feel loved, but a lot of times that varies between individuals couples. Knowing the love language of your significant other helps you understand how they feel loved and then you can know how to give love to them. Additionally, there must be shared responsibilities so the traveling and lack of help/support at home does not burden your partner. Lastly, find a hobby or interest outside of your significant other and it will give you an escape from the reality of your partner being gone and something new to put your energy into.

~ Honestly, Rach